But the future encompasses so much to get healthy for: my crappy genes, my cholesterol numbers, my waning fertility, my energy levels, my son. It’s all very, erm, heavy, but in my 30 years on earth I’ve proven to be incapable of making good decisions based on future repercussions. I don’t have the stats at hand, but I know I’m not alone in this. Americans worry far less about eating a cheeseburger than they would about running out into a busy street. Both choices have the potential to kill them; but the one which isn’t immediate is easy to forget about in the moment.
I love to live in the moment. I have horrible self-discipline. And I love immediate gratification. This is a horrible recipe for healthy behaviors. I always have a ‘reason’ to eat chocolate or an ‘excuse’ to skip the gym. It’s not just diet and exercise- I’m spontaneous and a procrastinator in so many areas of my life- writing, school and work deadlines, getting bills paid. If I were going to make a blog for each area of my life needing improvement, I’d over-run Word Press.
So this blog is going to be an entirely honest and mostly light-hearted take on my efforts to lose weight. I went to Zumba yesterday and kept catching sight of myself in the mirror. I’ve always been curvy (curse you, gigantic boobs) but I’ve not always been fat (oh, and I don’t skirt around the word fat). This is a pretty recent development, and as I saw myself in the mirror I almost didn’t recognize the woman bouncing around in front of me. But it was me. And what I hated more than how unrecognizable I was to myself was how my clothes fit.
Because I LOVE CLOTHES.
I love shopping, I love fashion and I love putting together a cute outfit. My style is inexpensive and girly with a slightly geekish vibe. Think staple Converse with a knock-off retro handbag and a Forever 21 outfit and a loud scarf.
As I stared at my body, I realized how I’ve subconsciously been avoiding shopping for a few years now. I still go, but I buy boots or makeup or earrings.
I still go clothes shopping, but it doesn’t bring me the same joy. I miss how clothes fit on me.
‘They’ say you won’t lose weight unless you are doing it for yourself. Doing it for my cholesterol is doing it for myself, but it’s not how I work. I’m not shallow, and clothes ultimately don’t matter, but if being able to enjoy clothes again is something I want, then I’m going to use it for motivation.
This blog will be about my weight loss journey in general. Fashion, food, fads, trials, failures, successes. Health woes, fat woes, personality flaws. Complaints about how my body has changed since childbirth. Musings on how my hormones are working against me and probably my age.
I’ll put everything out there. It’s my nature. And perhaps by writing it all down, I’ll have something to show for it in the end.
Thanks for coming on this journey with me!